Ask Dr. Windows

Q: Whenever I log on, I get the message: "The operating system was unable to create profile directory. You will be
logged on with a local profile only. Please contact your Network Administrator." I have a brand new 1.6 GHz machine, it should be able to do anything, it must be something you did!
- Crash'nBurn in Admin. South

A: This message points to several possible causes, such as insufficient permissions on the profiles directory (EVERYONE needs to have full access). However, it most often means that you have run out of disk space on your system partition. Try moving some of your files (those 365 bitmap wallpapers are good candidates for this) to any one your eighteen other logical partitions on that drive.

Q: When I turn on my computer, I want it to automatically get my mail, fire up Word, connect to Banner, and go to my homepage. That way, I can turn it on, go get my coffee and when I come back everything is ready for me. Is there a way to do that?
- Wired in Ross Hall

A: Yes.

Q: I want to run my own Quake server in the dorm, but I was told this was forbidden. Isn't Computing Services supposed to do help the campus community for all computer-related issues? I bet you think this is an unreasonable request. I think I'm smart enough to do this on my own, anyway!
- Bandwidth in res. Hall

A: Since you phrase the problem in a complex way, allow me to respond to each of your points in order for clarity (following management guidelines for non-confrontational issue resolution):

  1. You're right, it isn't.
  2. Again, you are correct.
  3. I'm sure you do.

Q: Does that mean we can't play games on the network?
 - TopGun in Ross Hall.

A: Well, for one thing, as a State employee to another, you are supposed to give the taxpayer a full eight hour's work (every week). Likewise, the network was paid for with state funds, and maintained by state employees, so there are some legal (political really) issues against gaming. Then you need to consider the bandwidth overhead involved in gaming, which pretty much means that my bosses won't officially allow network gaming at UALR.

You want to try Counterstrike sometime?

Q: Why can't I send those Word documents with embedded pictures to all of my friends? Should I try putting the pictures in Excel instead?
-BlkSqrrl in ETAS.

A: Most mail servers have limitations on message size, as well as a per-mailbox disk use quota. The message you are trying to send is probably too large for our mail system limitations, but may also be too large for the recipients' mail system(s) limits. You should keep in mind that when you paste a picture into Word, you actually make the size of the file larger than simply sending the picture. Often, those pictures are also encoded in an inefficient format. Embedding the picture in Excel is likely to produce the same result, but I bet you like the built-in frame around the picture.

Q: You're not being helpful! What about the management guidelines for non-confrontational issue resolution?

If you are seriously wondering what I think of the management guidelines for non-confrontational issue resolution, you may have a learning disability of some sort. I surmise, however, that your question was an ill-disguised reminder about my duty to "help turn Computing Services into a center of Excellence for the Campus Community™" For reminding me of this Department's Commitment to the Core Values of this Institution™, I thank you, Citizen!

At this point, I suggest you try embedding the picture in PowerPoint.

Q: What about compressing files? Can't I just make them zip files?

A: Yes, you can. For the example above, however, it is unlikely that zipping the file would produce meaningful compression (it still won't work). I should add that 'making them zip files' involves compressing them using a third-party application. Simply renaming pictures.doc as pictures.zip is not officially supported as a legitimate compression method, but your mastery of file extensions and associations earns you a cookie.

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